Wireless Convergence

Ubiquitous Digital Networking
Interconnectivity has never been more important. Digital networks serve up more and more of our entertainment, information, and communication than ever. Indeed, our ability to easily connect with each other is the foundation of our daily lives.

Qualcomm, with its newly developed convergence program, seeks to create the first truly ubiquitous digital network so that everyone, everywhere, can find themselves connected.

Convergent Innovation
In order to provide the most expansive coverage possible, the convergence program has implanted tiny base stations into thousands of pigeons. “These birds thrive in diverse habitats, from dense cities to unpopulated regions,” says Peter Rauber, director of engineering. “They carry with them a dynamic network as they flock and migrate.” But the birds needed certain improvements to ensure goals were met and safeguarded. According to Rauber, this is where true convergence enters the equation.


“We spliced the pigeons with wolves for a number of reasons,” says Rauber. “The wolfpigeons inherit the survival skills and tenacity of wolves. Together they form a creature of preternatural swiftness. We simply cannot allow our network transmitters to be killed off by feral cats or cold weather.”

Contingent Solutions
“There are certain potentially undesirable consequences that may come with roving, uncontrolled flocks of winged wolves,” says QTC engineer Vijay Bapu, “including destruction of livestock and property, attacks on human babies and the elderly, and perhaps even global despair.” A contingency plan was developed and initiated. “We have combined a shark with a falcon to create the sharkfalcon,” Bapu says.


A widespread wolfpigeon rebellion will be immediately countered with the release of hundreds of thousands of flying sharks. “With their rows of razor-sharp teeth and powerful gripping talons, fueled by a combination of depthless malice and seemingly infinite bloodlust, sharkfalcons will quickly decimate the entire wolfpigeon population,” Bapu says.

Checks and Balances
However, as junior engineer Roland Weatherby points out, “There is no guarantee that the sharkfalcon population will find contentment in the mere annihilation of wolfpigeons.” Indeed, the marauding hordes of sharkfalcons may seek more blood to quench their insatiable thirst. Human blood.

Thus, the convergence team is taking further steps to guarantee the safety and continued existence of mankind. Still in the early stages of development, the crocodeagle is a fusion of crocodile and eagle that promises to deliver mankind from the gaping jaws of a sharkfalcon apocalypse. “A crocodile and an eagle is exponentially better than a shark and a falcon in all ways imaginable, including its ability to screech and do barrel rolls.”

A fleet of crocodeagles, “large enough to blot out the sun” according to Weatherby, will take glorious flight in case the army of war-mongering sharkfalcons should attempt to destroy and consume the human race. The crocodeagles will engage and neutralize any threat posed by the sharkfalcons while providing humanitarian aid to everyone who needs it.

“When all seems lost, the crocodeagle army will restore civilization and safeguard humanity,” Weatherby concludes.
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